You Are Enough

In a peregrino conversation the question was asked "what is your greatest achievement?"

Finishing school, having a baby (I am sorry but that is not an achievement - every cow and chicken can have a baby - being a good parent - now that is an achievement! but I digress...), finishing the Camino, were unsurprising answers. Finishing the Camino would be one of the more physical achievements I'd be proud of, but the greatest?

And while I thought I listened to the others and heard their heart's deepest void speaking, that little empty space that almost everyone seems to have. Babies are not born with it, but by adolescence most people seem to have it. Even those who grow up in the most loving and supportive of childhoods seem to have it, maybe because they are brought up by and surrounded by others who have it too.

It's that little vaccuum inside that resonates with whispers to our brain all day long.

You are not enough. You are not smart enough, you are not attractive enough, you are not rich enough, you are not important enough, you are not enough, enough!

Where does it come from? School? Other children? Society? Family? Books? All or a combination? And it manifests itself in so different ways. Some people come off as boastful, some are belligerent, some are self-effacing, some are greedy and miserly, some are jealous, some are angry - pretty well all the seven vices and more. I just wanted to touch each other person's hand and say "Stop. You are enough. You do not need to prove yourself to anyone, not even yourself."

 We are not perfect - no one is perfect. Life is not finished and our characters are not complete. We do need help and other people. And we do need to grow. Each human alive is this lovely, partially finished project, and those that have filled that dark little void and quietened the insistent voice I think are those that accept that and realize they are absolutely enough being themselves. Striving to be better or more of whatever we want to be for our own sake, not for anyone or anything else's assessment. Change is good but we don't have to change our authentic selves. Just adding more of whatever we want to add, whether it is kindness, openness, acceptance, purpose, connections.

I could say with a feeling inside of complete joy that after a lot of years of hard work and the help and support of someone I trust, I have recognized that hole in me and filled it in. I have a lot of things I want to add to my character and to my life ahead, but I know that none of them take away from the fact that I am already a perfect, imperfect person. I am enough just being here. And so is every peregrino of the Camino and of the living world.